Tick Tock Tick
by a lovely idiot
Summary: Time used to stretch out into forever but now that it’s flying by with every second, you just don’t know what to do, do you? [Edward]


**AN:** As always, it was a piece for LJ. But not really. This one is just for fun. : ) Major spoilers for New Moon as well.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own any bit of Tiwlight/New Moon. Don't sue please.

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**Tick Tock Tick**

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-P L A Y-

There's a mental clock in your head and usually, it goes by pretty slowly.

_Tick, tock. Tick, tock._

But now that you've met her, it's going by so fast that all you hear is a constant "tick."

_Tick tick tick tick tick._

You love it though, because for once in your entire stretched out existence, you feel_ alive_ . That stone of a heart you have has finally started to beat again and you like the feeling and cause of it so much that you don't want it to stop. It just feels so wonderful to be _awake_ after countless years.

But you know that with every joyous day, hour, minute, second that passes by, _her_ time is already running out. It's running out so quickly that it frightens you, frightens you even more when she realizes it herself. There's no way to stop it though, no way to fight back against time.

At least, not without destroying the very thing that made your clock go faster.

So you'll stay and pretend, you'll both pretend, that time really did stop for the _both_ of you and that even if it starts up again, it'll be stretched out forever and ever in front of you. You may be in your hundreds, but you can pretend to be naïve and childish and think that anything you want will fall right in front of you.

-P A U S E-

Ignorance can be blissful for so long, and even you should know that by now, but you took it in, welcomed it with open arms.

Reality didn't exactly like your way of thinking though, and now you're packing your bags to leave her because you know that it's just _not right_ to be with her. You try to ignore the look of pain on her face as it's '_Adieu, sayonara, commiato, farewell.'_ and try to block out Alice's _'It won't work, Edward.'_ because it _has_ to work. The girl's a danger magnet and you're only bringing more trouble than she needs, whether she realizes it or not.

She should be happy, human, _normal_. She should die a little old lady with a normal, human husband and have a few kids and grandkids that give her a tearful _'See you in Heaven.'_ because it's human and what should've already happened to you, but didn't. And you know that even if you somehow died, you weren't going to be seeing her up there in the sky like the rest of her human family would because, well hell, _I don't have a soul_.

But you know that you don't even want to see her move on because you still care about her and know that that won't be changing anytime soon. You know you don't want to see her die because there's still some little selfish part in your stupid heart that's saying, _'Just change her and you'll both be happy.'_

That part of you can go get set on fire, so you try to ignore it the best you can.

It doesn't help ease the hurt, the pain though, and you surprise yourself by seeing that your little inner world's clock has gone from going slowly, to as fast as light itself, to just stopping altogether.

But you're not really surprised because you knew that this would happen anyways.

-S T O P-

How did it go by so _quickly_ when you were supposed to have all the time in the world, even if it didn't move forward anymore?

She was supposed to have kids. She was supposed to get married. She was supposed to _at least_ have graduated from high school.

Was the life she had right in front of her robbed because her number really was up the moment she met you and because you really were the only thing fighting fate to keep her alive? Maybe it really _would've_ been better if you stayed.

But then you stop that train of thought because _life or no life, she was better off without me._

So here you are, waiting for the end you might have always wanted. The logical part of your head was spouting nonsense about how this was ridiculous, that you still had a family to go home to, that _she was only human._ But when did the heart ever listen to the mind?

It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Your existence truly had no meaning left; what else was there to do but end it?

You couldn't join her, you knew that. But you'd still rather die than live on, knowing that she wasn't breathing, blushing that wonderful shade of scarlet, or having warmth radiate off of her delightful skin. There was enough pain already; no need to add fuel to the fire.

So you breathe the last breath you don't even need to breathe and take a step forward, knowing quite well of what would happen to you.

-R E W I N D-

Or not. 

Alice's visions were never set in stone, you know that much. Still, you can't help but rely on them like the way a new born relies on its mother's milk because well lookie here, if you say yes to this, this is going to happen! It was a good way to know how to avoid some situations.

She's been wrong before, about the same thing too, but hell, you're in _love_. Being in love doesn't exactly make you think rationally.

So here you are, shocked and in slight denial as the girl of your dreams (if you could dream, that is) is back in your arms all over again, as if no, you never really left and that you two just decided to take a trip to Italy.  
But your little vacation with sweetie-pie is going to have to take a bit of a break, seeing as the Volturi still want to talk with you. Damn. You were really looking forward to sight-seeing with her. Or just seeing her.

You're so close to home though, so why not just go in through it?

Now if only it were as easy as you made it sound.

-P L A Y-

And then she's back in your arms and those horrible months from before seem to disappear into thin air as you feel the warmth of her skin. But then you're back to pretending that everything will stay the same forever and ever, which might just happen considering the little vote your family just had. 

A vein is pulsing hard and thick, so you stop that train of thought.

But then maybe you don't have to pretend because you know that no matter what, you're never leaving again. There's just no possible way.

So you'll keep her here, safe in your arms, while your clock has steadily begun its ticking all over again.

_ 'Tick tick tick tick tick.'_


End file.
